Collards is green,

my dog's name is Blue

and I am so lucky

to have a sweet thang like you!

 

Yore hair is like cornsilk

a-flappin in the breeze

Softer than Blue's

and without all them fleas.

 

You move like the bass

which excite me in May

You ain't got no scales

but I love you anyway!

 

You have some'a yore teeth

for which I am proud

I hold my head high

when we're in a crowd.

 

On special occasions

when you shave under yore arms

well I'm in hawg heaven

and awed by yore charms!

 

Still them fellars at work

they all want to know

what I did to deserve

such a purdy young doe!

 

Like a good roll of duct tape

yore there for yore man

to patch up life's troubles

and fix what you can!

 

Yore as cute as a June bug

a buzzin overhead

you ain't mean like those

far ants I found in my bed!

 

Cut from the best cloth

like a plaid flannel shirt

you spark up my life

more'n a fresh loada dirt!

 

When you hold me tight

like a padded gunrack

my life is complete

ain't nuttin I lack!

 

Yore complexion, it's perfection

like the best vinyl sidin

despite all the years

yore age it keeps ahidin!

 

Me'n you's like a Moon Pie

with a RC cold drank

we go together

like a skunk goes with stank!

 

Some men they buy chocolate

for Valentine's Day

they git it at Wal-Mart

it's romantic that way!

 

Some men git roses

on that special day

from the cooler at Kroger

"That's impressive," I say!

 

Some men buy fine diamonds

from a flea market booth

"Diamond's are forever,"

they explain, suave and couth!

 

But for this man hone

these just won't do

cause yore too special

you sweet thang you!

 

I got you a gift

without taste nor odor

more useful than diamond's

it's a new trollin motor!