When you are sad,I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking-bastard who made you sad.

When you are scared, I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.

When you are confused, I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick, I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.

When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath,
I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask? 

Because you're my friend.

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